What's in a name?

I posted this blog on MySpace a few months back and I'm STILL getting comments about it. So I thought I'd place it over here, too. Enjoy!


Saturday, November 03, 2007

So I was sitting with my mom the other day when I mentioned that I'm looking forward to my date with a guy named Rob. Her eyes rolled right up into her head! "Another Rob, Sheila?!" she said. And then it hit me how funny that was and we both started laughing. This will be the third guy named Rob since my divorce.

The conversation spiralled into a listing of the names of guys I've either dated or been interested in since before I hit puberty. My first crush was on a little boy named Shane. I think I was five years old. As of today I've liked two Shanes in my life. Not too bad.

When I was twelve I started seeing a boy named Roger. Only one Roger in my life.

My first kiss was with a boy named Ray. (I was 13.) Only one of those, too. Ah, the stories I could tell about those days! But that's a conversation to be had in person. For now I'll stick to the point...

Can't leave out Sean. Because of him I was grounded for an entire summer. Okay, it wasn't ALL his fault, but I was an innocent little 14-year-old! Alright, so was he (maybe). One Sean.

Moving on.

Then there was Mike. My first real love. We were 15. We liked each other in elementary school, but then he asked my best friend to "go around with him". I was crushed. Our high school romance was an on again/off again relationship. (I tend to find myself in those pretty often, actually.) I think I can safely say there have been four Mikes. Mike the dentist (from college days) is one of my favorite stories. But again, I digress.

When I was a junior in high school I fell for a college boy at work. What was his name? He drove a cherry red Mustang. He liked me more than I liked him. He had dark skin and green eyes. Man, he was hot. What WAS his name? Oh well. I'm sure it must have been Rob... or Mike... nah!

Jon. After high school he moved in with my best friend. What is it with men and my best friends?! (Jenny, I'm glad you're married. Don't try to steal my man!) Hmmm... two of those: one Jon (high school), and one Jonathan (Ricks College). Jonathan... now he was a good man. Wonder where that guy went?

Larry. Only one Larry. We might have gotten married if I hadn't met Jason while Larry was on his mission. Poor Larry. One Larry, one Jason.

And now things get interesting. Chris. There's another name I can't seem to get away from. Off the top of my head I can think of FIVE Chris's. I even married one. In fact, his name was Chris AND Mike. Double whammy. I think I've dated every spelling of Chris there is: Christopher, Kris, Christian, Christoffer, and just Chris. Not one good story there.

Phillip. Loved that guy. He asked me to marry him three times. I nearly did. I probably should have! I dated Phill and Jason at the same time: one was in California, the other in Idaho. Jason knew about Phill. Phill didn't know about Jason. Course, I was also writing to my missionary Larry then, too.

I think I'll move on.

Dan. Now Daniel was a short-lived relationship for a very good reason. One Dan. One very clingy, very suffocating Dan.

Doug. Hey, there's a good story. Two Doug's. Okay... really, only one and a half. The first Doug was an RM from my home town I met up with at Ricks. We were from two completely different worlds! He was a farm boy and I was a city girl. He showed me my very first real cow. And then I watched as he and his brothers de-horned the calves. That was nasty. I have pictures to prove it. Doug 2 was a might-have-been. I won't even get into that. He was a bit too overwhelming for me. Kind of reminded me of Dan, actually - which is probably why I never let him get too close.

Monte. One of those. Too bad, too. Liked Monte.

Boyd. One of those. THANK HEAVEN!!!

Jef. "Jef with one f". Most amazing person I have ever known! One Jef, and one Jeff. Liked the "one f" better.

Mark. Funny guy Mark! What a great guy! Sadly, only one Mark. I need to find another Mark.

Steve. One Steve. There will only ever be ONE Steve!! Enough said. But if there was another one with those guns, then I'd definitely take a shot!

Robb, then Robert, and now Rob. Well, MAYBE there will be a Rob. I'll let you know next weekend.



Here are the comments my friends posted:


I like the guns also. Yummy, yummy! Girl, I never you were such a tramp. Right on! You still owe me that story!!!!!
Posted by Jen Sam and Kohl on Saturday, November 03, 2007 at 5:43 PM

The story... call me and I'll tell you. I don't like to spread past transgressions over the internet. ;)Oh, and I forgot one Rob. Actually, he went by Bob. I dated him at Ricks. Man, no wonder I loved that place! And hot guy with the Mustang... I STILL can't remember his name!
Posted by me on Saturday, November 03, 2007 at 9:33 PM

Men who buy Mustangs are compensating. Forget him and his stupid name forever.
Posted by Steven on Thursday, November 08, 2007 at 11:14 AM

Dang girl!!! I don't know you at all! You have so much to share with me....and I'll be sure to bug you about it! My stories about names well, would not be so interesting....
Posted by ♥sandra♥ on Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 1:54 PM

Sandra, as fun as these stories are to tell, be glad you have only had ONE man in your life. And he's a winner! What a great guy! And so lucky to have such a wonderful wife, too. Love you guys!(Of COURSE I'll share my stories with you! I love talking about me, you know that!) ;)
Posted by me on Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 8:29 PM

um, it seems like our next apt needs to be more than 30 mins.... i have some names too, my biggest repeat is Josh.... almost too many to count!but that's all i'll tell you about right now.love you!and love your stories. can't wait to hear about all of them!leighann :)
Posted by Leigh Leigh on Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 5:04 PM

Ah, the fast and furious tell-all hair cut appointments. Tell you what, let's do another movie night together and forget all about the movie. Then we can just sit and chat. I'll even break out the photo albums and we can have a good laugh at the awkward 80's styles.
Oh, and by the way, I totally forgot about Evan! Remember him? Salt Lake boy from the beginning of the year? Four months of long-distance dating and only two dates. Not a big fan of long-distance relationships.
And Mustang boy's name finally came to me: Jesse. One Jesse.
Posted by me on Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 8:32 PM

Avoid clints, chucks, brent's and such. I have always felt that guys with single syllable names were just, well just, ....Avoid them. :-)
Posted by Brother M. on Monday, November 05, 2007 at 5:14 PM

Steve is a one-syllable name. (I know its short for Steven but I wanted to stir the pot.)
Posted by Steven on Thursday, November 08, 2007 at 11:12 AM

"Steve. One Steve. There will only ever be ONE Steve!! Enough said. But if there was another one with those guns, then I'd definitely take a shot!"Smart Woman. Very very smart.
Posted by Steven on Thursday, November 08, 2007 at 11:01 AM

Where have I been?

Here's where we've been since the last time I blogged:

Pinewood Derby

B~ won first place in the cub scout pinewood derby race last week, and was off to the regionals today! Here's B~ and N~ and their awesome cars that Uncle H~ helped them make.









Yes, N~ is in his pj's. Doesn't he look adorable? He wasn't very happy that his car didn't win, but he's also not a cub scout yet. He asks me about once a week how long it will be until he gets to go to cubs like his brother. He still has 2 more years. *sigh*

Happy Hollow

We spent a day together with my old friend M~ and his 3 girls. His wife was at a conference for the day so we took all 5 kids to Happy Hollow Zoo and Park and then she joined us for pizza that evening. While we were on one of the trains, a little girl tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "How many children do you HAVE??" I stifled a giggle and just smiled at her. "Five."

M~ and I have known each other since the 4th grade... talk about a long-time friend! We had a blast watching each other being parents and talking about how different life turned out from what we each had expected. M~ is a great friend. Sacramento isn't too far away, we should get together more often!

Dinner with the missionaries

B~ saw the calendar at church to invite the elders over for dinner and asked why we never invite them. So I signed up and we had one of the best spaghetti dinners we've ever enjoyed together. The elders were fun and the boys loved having them in our home. One of the elders saw my copies of the Living Scriptures videos and got so nostolgic for his childhood that he seriously begged me to watch one. But it was getting late, so I signed up on the calendar again for a FHE and dinner night again next week. :) Here's N~ eating spaghetti with one of the missionary's badges on. (B~ took the picture with my phone, so it's a little blurry.)






Science Projects

N~: "Air-popped White Popcorn vs. Yellow Popcorn"
We had a blast inviting the cousins over to help determine which pops bigger. Of course we couldn't pop popcorn without tasting it... and what's popcorn without a movie? So we recorded our findings then ate the evidence while watching Shrek the 3rd! What fun!

B~: "Does Chewed Gum Lose Mass?"
You can't see it in this picture, but we actually glued the chewed gum to the poster board! It looked disgusting! This was also a lot of fun for the boys. I don't allow sugar gum in the house, so when they saw the package of Hubba Bubba on the counter they nearly hit the ceiling! In less than a week the entire package was gone. Poor deprived children!


So there you go... a month in a nut shell. And that's only a small part of what we do!

Christmas Charity

For the last 4 Christmases I have been the happy reciprient of an annonymous cashier's check from a person who identifies him- or herslef as my Christmas Elf. I have never felt I deserved this check and know of countless other families who could use the money more than I! Don't get me wrong, every mom (especially single ones) can milk a cash gift for everything it's worth, and I am no exception. But it has recently caused me to ponder over the word "charity" and it's true meaning.

Growing up I used to think it simply entailed sending money to the starving kids in Africa and other such things. But lately I've been reading about charity in the scriptures and I've learned it's a lot more than simply giving money to people you don't know (although I'm not morally opposed to giving to Charities, per se, I'm just trying to see beyond that aspect).

Have you read the book A Heart Like His by Virginia H. Pearce? Wow. I don't think I will ever be the same again. Listen to what she says about the word charity:

"The word charity sometimes conjures up an image of those who have, giving to those who have not, doing "alms" as rich people who in a noblesse-oblige sort of way, condescendingly give to those who are needy, gratefully reminding themselves how lucky they are not to be poor. This is not the true meaning of charity. If charity is in fact 'the pure love of Christ' (Moroni 7:47), then there is no sense of one person being more elevated than another, because we are all needy before God, all dependent on Him; and with that paradigm, we ought to behave with a kind of mutuality, reciprocity, and equality toward one another, rather than an attitude of 'Big-Me-Little-You.'"

Need I comment more? I don't pretend to be a master at the art of writing. In fact, I generally find myself clumsily trippng over my thoughts in an effort to put them into words. So I use Virginia Pearce's words and say "AMEN sister!"

Perhaps this blog is starting to sound like a Sunday School or Relief Society lesson, but I have to share my very favorite scripture on the subject: "...wherefor, the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love. And except they should have charity they were nothing." (2 Nephi 26:30)

When I read that I realized how simple and yet how profound that is! Charity is LOVE! Not romantic love, but love the way Christ loves us: complete, whole, enduring, real, unconditional. Otherwise I am nothing. Why? Because when a heart is void of love, it simply shrinks. You've met people like that. Maybe you've even BEEN that person at times. I found myself building walls around my own heart in order to protect it from the pain it often feels from the world and the people in it. And then the Lord reminds me of His infinite love for me, His charity, by sending me small reminders every day. Okay, so the cashiers check is anything but small, but just the other day a neighbor swept my driveway for me, and another neighbor picked up the tree stumps that have been sitting in front of my house for a couple weeks now like an eye-sore, waiting for me to get rid of them. And all this was done without fanfair. In fact, I have no idea who did these things for me, just that they were done!

This is charity. This is love. This is what I want to be. I have a long way to go. But I am grateful for those who have learned how to love like Christ; those who have learned, internalized, and often display true charity. It may take me longer to get there, but some day I hope to get out of my own head, stop being selfish, and begin a more charitable way to live life.