Guitar Hero

Thanks to my cousin (or perhaps his wife), I now have the greatest picture of my 93-yr-old grandmother I will ever own. ROCK ON GRAMMA!

Thank you Jo Jo

Yesterday I went to the bank with a great big smile planted on my mug. In fact, it appeared there Wednesday night and it's still there! Here's why...

In December of 2005 I received a cashier's check for a LARGE amount of money. I didn't believe it was even real. I took it to the bank and they confirmed it was a real check. I was baffled. It came with a typed letter stating: "This is a real cashier's check from someone who loves you. Merry Christmas! Love, Jo Jo the Elf". I felt confused, but grateful, nonetheless.

In December of 2006 I opened another envelope with the same typed letter and another cashier's check for the same amount of money. I was shocked! I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be the receiver of so much! This time I knew it was a real check and immediately I went to the bank.

In December of 2007 I started to wonder if I could be so lucky. I would go to the mail box with anticipation, but never felt sad when it wasn't there. I knew it would be too prideful to hope for a third year in a row. And then one day, there it was. I opened the envelope not believing I could be so blessed for the third year in a row. When I saw the typed letter with the same exact words, I began to cry. No, I bawled like a baby.

Last month I had a huge monitary disappointment. A program for struggling early childhood educators (called CARES - Comprehensive Approaches to Raising Educational Standards) exists to provide money for teachers to enrich their education. This year I qualified for the highest amount of money. All year I have been taking the required administration courses at the local colleges and actively participating in the local chapter of NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children). But because of a glitch in the system (and possibly the economic crisis), CARES decided not to award me any money this year. I was very disappointed and frankly a little worried about how I would make ends meet this year. But when I prayed about it, I felt reassurance that things would work out. I couldn't figure it out on paper how that would be possible, but in my heart I knew it was true.

Two days ago when I got an envelope from the same bank as the previous 3 years, I opened it without thinking. The typed letter sat in one hand, the check in the other for several moments before it dawned on me that for the FOURTH year in a row I was to be on the receiving end of so much charity. Now that my boys are old enough to appreciate what money really means, I decided to let them in on the gift. I walked into their room with a great big grin on my face and showed them the check. (My eldest knew right away what it was; I had to explain the numbers to my youngest.) High fives and hugs went all the way around. And then my youngest said, "Mommy, does this mean Santa can come this year afterall?" Through my happy tears I told him that Santa would have come anyway, even if the money hadn't come this year. But that thanks to our annonymous benefactor, we won't have to worry as much.

The thing is, both my kids know who Santa really is (but we like to pretend anyway). I guess that's why my youngest felt so worried. He remembered that I had told them the money we were expecting from CARES didn't come this year, and that we'd have to be extra careful with how much we spend for a while. Translation: fewer trips to MacDonalds, and no more Blockbuster movies for a while. This actually made my youngest cry at first, but we had a good talk about being more frugal, and I thought he felt better afterward. I never actually said anything about a smaller Christmas (that I can recall, at least), so this made his response to the money all the more touching for me.

My eldest's response: "Can we split the money equally between the three of us?" *grin*

So thank you Jo Jo the Elf. Whoever you are.

For Goodness Snakes

Hopefully I'm not going to get sued for using this title for my post since it's the name of the company I used for my son's birthday party today. Here are some of the pictures I took. I didn't ever have the guts to actually hold one of these little gems, but even the most timid child eventually had a snake around his neck by the end of their visit.

What I love about Christmas

I love Christmas more than any other time of the year. And that includes my birthday!

I love the cold weather (what do I know about "cold" -- I live in the bay area!)
I love the shopping (although this year I'm not doing much of that -- and I say that every year)
I love Christmas In The Park and the outdoor ice skating rink in downtown San Jose
I love getting Christmas cards
I love choosing, buying, and putting up the Christmas Tree
I love decorating the house with Nativity Scenes and lights and snow globes
I love watching old Christmas movies in my pj's with a big bowl of buttered air-popped popcorn in my lap
I love sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream
I love drinking egg nog (with milk, of course)
I love singing Christmas carols
I love listening to Christmas music -- especially the old classics and the one my sister wrote
I love opening presents
I love watching my kids open presents
I love the words: "is that ALL?" after the presents are all opened
I love the crumpled up wrapping paper strewn all over the floor
I love the smell of real pine needles
I love the baking and the eating of Christmas dinner and Christmas treats
I love eating home-made Chex party mix and my dad's "grog"
I love playing games with my family until all hours of the night at mom's house
I love watching my sisters-in-law knit together while the siblings play the games
I love seeing out-of-town friends and family
I love the way the kids at school look when they hand me a Christmas card or present
I love time off work -- although this year there will be fewer days :(
I love walking out of my mom's house late at night and breathing the crisp, cool Sunnyvale air that reminds me of this time of year
I love believing in Santa, if only for one night every year
I love surprises in my stocking at mom's house
I love hearing the church choir and the Primary children sing Christmas hymns at church
I love church the Sunday after Christmas when everyone in the congregation has the chance to share their favorite hymn, scripture, or testimony
I love sharing Christmas memories with my brothers and sisters, and even breaking out all those old Christmas morning videos dad took every year while we were kids
I love wearing sweaters and funny-looking toe socks
I love retelling the story of the birth of our Savior
I love the First Presidency Christmas Devotional
I love the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert
I love looking for the "pickle" in mom's Christmas tree
I love the excitement that surrounds this time of year and wish it would last just a bit longer

What do you love?

Missing Church

I hate missing church. I can honestly say that I have been to church consistently for most of my life. I will make every effort to attend at least Sacrament Meeting, no matter where I am. I'm not boasting. I just absolutely love to go. I love the people, the lessons, the feeling, the choir, the bishop, the RS president... everything. When I miss church my whole week suffers.

Two weeks ago I was sick. It was the pits. I had just enough energy to drive my kids to church and then back home again. I slept nearly all day. When I was awake I was dizzy. I'm not very good at being sick. I'm a miserable person to be around. And I missed church. The week following was tough, but I got through it. And I was very happy to be back at church last Sunday.

Yesterday I picked my kids up from the airport after their trip to their dad's for Thanksgiving. My eldest looked like he was about to faint. His symptoms were similar to what I had been through two weeks ago. The only difference is that he also had a fever.

Today is his birthday. And he spent it in bed with a sore throat and a fever. And we both missed church. Poor kid - what a yucky birthday!

Well, at least I've got the General Conference cd's now. Maybe the two of us can listen to a session together. Hey! I might have to miss work tomorrow! Darn.

Men vs Women

I'm not a feminist. I believe there are inherent differences in men and women and I'm very comfortable with that. It's not a mystery to me that most men are stronger than most women. I'm also comfortable with that. I'm a small woman, so it's okay if I admit that there are things I can't do that a big strong man can!

HOWEVER...

I have also learned that I can do a lot of things I never thought I'd be able to do without a man's help. I can paint the house. I can make simple repairs to the dryer. I can move furniture. I can change a light fixture. I can change a tire on my car. I can move the fridge and mop behind it and then move it back without scratching the floor. I can even replace a toilet! (Okay, I admit, I had help from my brothers with the toilet.)

So here I am in my "girl power" state of mind. I go to the boys' gym to help them move and work all day. I'm even praised that I know how to use a power drill, and they took my picture to prove it to everyone else!

And THEN...! Here's the email thread between me and the owner/coach of the gymnastics club:

Hello All,
We did not have enough time and help to set up the equipment in the new gym. The team practices on Monday and Wednesday have been canceled.
Thank you,
A~

A~,
I'm sorry it didn't get finished! Is there anything else we can all do to help get things settled this week? Please let us know!
S~

S~,
We need more men help.
Thanks,
A~

I know, I shouldn't be offended. Actually, my first reaction was to laugh right out loud. Sheesh! I know he was refering to the hard manual labor of getting the spring-board floor put together. But come on, I can screw a few boards together just as well as the next MAN can!

The Great and Spacious Building

A week ago I got a phone call from a very good friend. He told me about an incident that happend to him at the hospital where he works. He works night shifts, so he often brings his scriptures with him to the hospital so that he can study during slow times. One night recently he was chatting with a new employee who started to ask him about his religious beliefs. They stepped into an empty room and he pulled his scriptures from his backpack. He said that their conversation felt like he was back on his mission and that it was the first time he's really felt like himself in a long time, as his current life situation has been really challenging for him. By the time they were ready to get back to work he said that his friend expressed interest in going to church with him and possibly letting the missionaries come teach him. My friend was ecstatic! It was really a tender mercy from the Lord that He gave my friend an opportunity to bear his testimony and have such a positive experience.

Then, as they were walking out of the room where they had been discussing religion, my friend noticed a group of co-workers standing around the security monitors giggling. He walked over to them, curious as to what was so funny and realized they had been watching HIM on the security feed. They began to taunt him and laugh at him, asking "are you going to convert everyone to be a Mormon now?" And proceded to say rude things to him. My friend was deflated, to say the least. He walked away feeling dejected, his mood from just moments before completely altered.

He had just experienced a modern-day version of 1 Nephi, chapter 8. Here's how Lehi describes it (v. 24-28):

And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed.

And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.

When I shared my thoughts with my friend he gasped out loud. "I hadn't even thought of that!" Remember Lehi's reaction to those in the building? "...and we heeded them not." What happened to those people? Later, in chapter 11, Nephi asks an angel for the interpretation of his father's dream and is shown the same vision. Here's what he wrote in verses 35 and 36:

And the multitude of the earth was gathered together; and I beheld that they were in a large and spacious building, like unto the building which my father saw. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Behold the world and the wisdom thereof; yea, behold the house of Israel hath gathered together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building was the pride of the world; and it fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

Two days ago I was driving my sons to cub scouts. I stopped at a red light and glanced in the rear-view mirror. The driver behind me had her hand up, giving me a rude finger gesture. I was baffled. Had I unknowingly offended her? I couldn't remember doing anything out of the ordinary with my driving, so I had no idea what could have warrented such a thing. Then I peeked in the mirror again. She was glaring at my bumber! And then it hit me. My license plate says "LDS... Standing for Something" and right below it there is a "Yes on 8" bumper sticker. (For those of you not in California, Propostition 8 protects traditional marriage.) Wow, I thought. Are people really so angry over my personal views?

And then yesterday I was told that the "Yes on 8" lawn sign at my mother's house was defaced with a black permanent marker.

Could these experiences prove the beginning of a great seperation of "the wheat from the tears"? Perhaps the Second Coming of the Lord isn't as far away as it seems.

Why can't I swear??!!!

Today I came home to a newly paved driveway. I live in a mobile home park. The owner sent out a letter about a month ago letting us know the schedule for the driveway repavement project. My street's day was today. So last night I moved the garbage cans, the recycling bins, and the foot mat off the driveway in preparation. I got home from work and thought how beautiful it looked to have a new and very black driveway. There was a wooden "horse" in front of the driveway indicating that I couldn't park there, so I drove around the block to park in visitor parking. Nothing was available. I wouldn't have minded going to another visitor parking, and thought that walking a few blocks would do me good. But I'm getting ready to take a weekend trip with some friends, and the thought of lugging my suitcase, food, sleeping bag, etc. for who knows how many blocks to my car wasn't looking like a great idea to me. So I punched on the hazzard lights and parked in front of the house.

I walked up to the door and noticed it was part way open. Grumble. My ex-husband had already stopped by to pick up the boys' clothes for the weekend and didn't close the door all the way. Typical. I couldn't expect anything else from this man. Grumble again. I walked inside and did a quick assessment. Good. No signs of "unwanted visitors". My laptop was still sitting on the counter where I left it and nothing seemed to be out of place.

While I was finishing the last of the laundry and gathering stuff for the weekend, I hear a familiar honking outside. My car has a theft feature on it (THANK GOODNESS) and will give four fast short honks if the car hasn't been broken into but is being violated in some way. I recognized it right away and sprinted out the door. Sure enough, the tow truck was taking my car! I waved my arms and yelled "STOP!" He saw me in his rear-view mirror. I ran to the passenger side of the truck and tried to open the door. Locked. I looked at him. He looked back. I couldn't believe the stupidity of this man! I indicated he should roll down the window. He did. A crack. I stepped up onto the truck to talk to him through the window. Here's our conversation:

Me: "Hey, I'm right here. I had to park out front because the driveway was just redone."
Him: "Well, you should have parked in visitor parking."
Me: "I tried. There weren't any spaces left."
Him: "Sorry, I was told to tow anyone parked on the street."
Me: "But I'm trying to leave for the weekend and I'm packing my car. I can't lug my suitcase 3 or 4 blocks just because my driveway is unavailable."
Him: "Sorry. There's nothing I can do."
Me: "Yes there is! I'm right here! You can unhook my car and leave it here!"
Him: "That will cost you $82."
Me: "Are you kidding me?! I'M RIGHT HERE!"
Him: "If you hadn't caught me inside the park, it would cost $120, ma'am."
Me: "Fine. You take checks?"
Him: "Just cash. Or credit card."
Me: "I'll go get my card. Don't take my car. I'll be right back."

So I ran back inside to grab my Visa. He wouldn't unhook my car until the transaction was complete. I asked him why he couldn't just give us a break on this street, since we couldn't use our driveways. He just said that "the owner" told him to tow any car that wasn't in visitor parking during the driveway repavement. Jerk. After he unhooked my car, he left it right there IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I still had to go back inside my house to get my keys. I looked down the street at the woman who was parked there talking to a neighbor. I had heard the tow truck guy look at her, too, and mutter to himself, "now I gotta go get that one." So I cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted, "MOVE YOUR CAR! HE'S COMING TO GET YOU NEXT!" She yelled back "thank you" and ran to the driver's side. I think she got it moved before he could get around the block to her. Jerk. GREAT BIG JERK!

And now there's $82 less in my bank account. ARGH! WHY CAN'T I SWEAR??!!!!

Instead, I decided to yank the wooden horse up and throw it down the street. I parked in my driveway. So there.

Not quite two months later...

I know, I didn't return to report.

BUT...
I'm happy to say that my reading habits were fantastic! And although I haven't yet cemented the "read on my own every night" part of studying the scriptures, I never miss a night reading with my kids. And they are chock full of questions that make me think! Tonight they decided together that I would have a "night off" and they took turns reading the entire chapter aloud to me. I laid back and draped my arms over my eyes while I listened. It was great. And B~ even looked at the footnotes to find out what "the seventy and seventh year of the reign of the judges" really means. He didn't even ask me how to find the answer! I am often very proud of (and surprised at) my children.

Now. The weight. Not good. Still gaining. Still not exercising. Still not taking a lunch break most days. Still not getting out much. My clothes are so tight I often wonder at the beginning of the day if I'll have to undo a button after I eat breakfast. I'd ask for help in this area, but no one can help me but me, I know that. I have no motiviation. I don't really feel like exercising. I am exhausted at the end of the day. And getting up earlier than 5:30 AM just isn't going to happen. So if there's no solution, then why bother complaining, you ask? BECAUSE THIS IS MY BLOG, DANG IT! AND I'LL COMPLAIN IF I FEEL LIKE IT! So there. And I don't want to hear any stupid comments about how "skinny people like you don't really know what it feels like to REALLY gain weight". Blah, blah, blah. Well, you're probably right. The fact is, I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I feel. And my goals aren't working because I have no motivation.

Well, I'll have to figure that one out later.

Since ending on a sour note isn't my favorite thing to do, I'm going to proudly report that by the end of November 2008 I will officially be 100% out of debt. Hooray!! Hooray!! I guess all this crazy overtime I've been working is doing me a favor at least in one area of my life. :)

Day Two and Day Three

Last night I read the scriptures for a longer period of time. But I was still falling asleep. I didn't exercise because it was Sunday.

Today I took a lunch but didn't go walking. Darn it. First day of my new goal and already I've failed half way. I'll have to do better tomorrow. At my defense, it wasn't a typical day since school doesn't start until tomorrow and my staff and I had a BBQ together after our staff meeting before we got to work setting up the classrooms for tomorrow.

I did do something unusual today though. I left work a little early and cashed in on a gift certificate I've been hanging onto for about 18 months. I had a two-hour massage and it was so incredible! If I could afford it I'd buy one for every single member on my staff. If ever we've needed such a thing, it's right now.

I picked up my boys from the airport tonight. Uncle Dan gave us each a "Father's" blessing. Afterward B~ (my eldest) told me that he felt like crying during the blessings. I could tell he was touched by the Spirit. He told me he knew it was the Spirit that made him feel like crying. He's way beyond his age when it comes to the gospel. I hope his physical body has time to catch up one of these days! N~ was also very touched by the Spirit tonight. He sat very still during each blessing, and even though he commented that they were long, he still had a reverence about him that I've only rarely seen from him. I am so blessed to have these boys in my life!

Off to read the scriptures. (Already read to my boys, but I'm determined to keep my personal study habits going, even though it's nearly 10pm.)

Bye till tomorrow!

On a Different Note...

I went to a staff development meeting last week. They invited a guy to come in and give a "pep talk" of sorts for all the teachers since this is the beginning of a new school year. He said some stuff that I've already heard a million times, including how to make goals. (Now you know why I'm suddenly on another goal-making kick.) Here's something else we did:


5 Things I Like Most About Myself and Why

1. I'm a mom -- Because it's what I've always wanted to be.
2. I'm divorced -- Because I was forced to learn how to be independent
3. I'm short -- Because I can date both tall and short men ;)
4. I'm passionate -- Because it aides my ability to empathize (and because it's fun)
5. My religion -- Because it makes me happy and gives me peace in a troubled time

5 Things I Like Least About Myself and Why

1. I'm divorced -- (I know, it's on both lists) Because it's lonely and difficult
2. I'm short -- (again, both lists) Because it's often inconvenient
3. I'm high-strung -- It's exhausting
4. My facial moles and lip hair -- (call me vain) Because they're distracting from my beauty ;)
5. I'm out of shape -- Because I'm often tired and weaker than I want to be

My Top Ten Priorities

(I actually surprised myself as I was writing these.)

1. My children
2. The Gospel of Jesus Christ
3. My family
4. My job
5. My mental health
6. My physical health
7. Getting financially independent again
8. Finding a mate
9. Buying a house
10. Getting published

Day One

I read the scriptures last night. It was only half a chapter, but my eyes kept closing on me. It's my own fault, too.

After I finished writing my blog yesterday I checked the clock and then looked at the temple schedule. I had missed the last session. Argh! I was so disappointed in myself that I started to cry.

So I went grocery shopping. And then I stopped at Target and bought three of my newest favorite movies. I watched "P.S. I Love You" when I got home. (I swear that movie makes me want to fall in love with an Irish man. I even did a search for guys in Ireland on ldslinkup before I went to bed. Dumb. I'll never do that again.)

During the movie I got down on the floor and did a straddle stretch. Ouch. I'm much more stiff than I ever remember being. So I spent almost half the movie doing different stretches before some leg lifts and a few sit ups. I felt better afterward. I'm starting small. Very small. But I think it won't take long before I get back to where I was. I really want to be in shape again. Really.

Tonight I did something social. It was just a potluck at the singles ward and then a fireside (which was absolutely amazing!) but it was something. I even got brave at the fireside and sat next to someone I met at a party on the 4th of July this year. He didn't remember me at first. We talked for a couple minutes then he excused himself to take a phone call. When he came back he said he was going to sit with a few friends he saw in the back, but not to take it personally. I didn't. Well, maybe just a little. I sat by myself for a while and then my girlfriend came in and sat next to me. When did I become so self-conscious about being alone at a social function?? And what am I doing looking for "him" still? It's so pointless these days.

But I'm getting off the subject.

Okay, so far I'm doing well on my goals. Tomorrow I will take a lunch break and a walk. By the way, I'm changing my scripture reading goal to 14 days to be consistent with my other two goals. One down, 13 to go. :)

On a side note (again)... I'm glad I went to church today. I hate walking into the chapel without my children. (They're at their dad's this weekend.) It feels lonely and odd and I almost wanted to just sit in the foyer and listen to the talks from afar. But I didn't. And I'm glad. I was still a little mad at myself for missing the temple yesterday, so when I walked into Sacrament Meeting I was surprised at how peaceful I felt. I said a prayer of thanks to Heavenly Father for the gift. I felt I needed His forgiveness and His loving response made me feel like closing my eyes and breathing in the tranquility. I love this gospel. It's such a blessing to know that my Father is aware of me and that He loves me dispite my gross short-comings.

See you tomorrow.

14 Days

"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." Who wrote that??

I think I finally know what that phrase means. Actually, I think that phrase has been popping up in different aspects of my life for about fifteen years now. I remember thinking being single would kill me... until I got married. Then I thought my marriage would kill me... until I got divorced. That's when I thought that being divorced, father-less, and going back into corporate life would kill me. But strangely enough, it didn't, and I even found that happiness could be a part of my life again.

But now I find myself in a state of constant complaining again about this and that and I have to ask myself, "why?" Is it really such a big deal that I've gained a little weight, that I continue to go to bed alone at night, that I haven't been on a date in... yikes, should I admit it?..., or that my job is about to crush me? Okay, so I've spent the last two weeks working 10 - 14 hours a day. (Well, only one of those days ended up being 14 hours. Let's be honest, here.) But when I'm not actually at work I think about work, I worry about work, I even DREAM about work. My employees call me at night and I'm always text messaging back and forth with them helping to solve problems. It's the nature of my position.

My dentist made me a night guard because I've started clenching my jaw at night again and I ended up chipping a tooth. My chiropractor wants to see me every couple of weeks because my headaches are turning into migranes more often than I can remember (I used to only get them about once a year... I've had 4 or 5 in the last two months).

And my dreams...!! They're pocked with anxiety. I dream about the employee I have to fire. I dream about losing my kids. I dream about my ex-husband screaming at me. I dream about my family abandoning me. I dream about being lost and frantic. I dream about someone breaking into my home at night. I dream about having to introduce a fiance I've never met to my family. I even dream about giant tarantulas climbing on me while I sleep!

I take energy medication during the day and sleeping pills at night. (All holistic medication.) I listen to calming music in the car or books on cd. I read before going to bed. (Okay, reading about a vampire family probably doesn't help, but it's entertaining!) And yet I awake in the morning unrested.

Last Sunday I taught the Gospel Doctrine class at church. I thrive teaching the gospel. I'm not especially knowledgable, so I'm always grateful for Dale Mouritsen, our local source of information. I swear he knows everything there is to know about everything (no Eric, I'm not talking about you this time...!), and what he doesn't know he will find out. What I love about teaching is how it forces me to really dive into the scriptures. I look up references; I browse through videos; I find supporting Conference talks. I am immersed in the only true source of happiness. And then the lesson is over and I go back to being the lazy person I've become: reading scriptures only at my kids' bedtime.

I don't exercize. I don't eat healthy. You want to lecture me about that? Go ahead. I've heard everything you're going to say, so don't be surprised if my eyes start to glaze over while you're talking. I barely have time to check my email these days, and this is my first blog since June. It's actually the first time I've been online at home in weeks! My friends wonder what's happened to me, and my family never sees me anymore. My sweet boys have been asking me lately why we don't do anything fun together anymore, and my best friend tells me I'm not following the prophet's counsel because I don't take time for myself.

So that's the background. It's a bunch of sad ramblings and even the most depressed I've been in a very long time. And it's going to stop. Right now.

My new resolve:
#1 - I'm going to study the scriptures before I go to bed every night - personal study, I mean, not just reading to my children. I will do this for seven straight days starting tonight. If I skip or forget one night, I will start over at day one the next night and try again.
#2 - I'm going to start taking a lunch break at work. If I have to work longer than 8 hours, I will find a day during the week to work less than 8 to even it out. I will do this for two weeks starting on Monday.
#3 - I will exercize 20 minutes during my lunch break by walking around the block and clearing my head. I will do this every day starting Monday for two weeks.

I know I should put in a goal for eating better, but I don't want to overwhelm myself right now. Start small, right?

On September 6th I will post another blog. I'm using this blogspot as my source of accountability.

"Goooooo Sheila!!" *cheerleader hands*

I'm off to the temple now. That's the best place I can think of to start. :)

June 21st

My dad.

My "pop-belly", gentle dentist, cough-crying, hug me so tight I can't breathe, tell the same jokes a million times, daughter protecting, insightful, inspiring, God fearing, Sunday comics reading, Bugs Bunny cartoon loving, t.v. watching, Elvis look-a-like, piano playing, bass clef singing, sensitive, big handed, ballroom dancing, always giving when receiving is needed, quote stealing, always whistling dad.

Today I cleaned my room - because dad always quoted "cleanliness is next to Godliness".

Today I watched a movie - because dad loved the movies.

Today I read a book - because dad loved to read.

Today I ate ice cream - because dad loved ice cream.

Today I popped pop corn - because dad was the best popcorn popper that ever lived.

Today he's been gone for six years.

Today I missed my dad.

AAAACK!

Sometimes a week can feel like a lifetime. Last Friday I started my day with staffing issues that would send any sane person in the opposite direction. By the end of the day I was ready to fire them all and start anew. But I survived and they're all still here and I still love them. (They're lucky!) At 2:45 I finally ended a conversation with a needy parent on the phone and rushed off campus to grab my kids and start the drive up to Sacramento. (I'm sure the look on my face said, "Don't try to stop and talk to me, I'm in a hurry and your issues can wait until Monday.") At 3:30 we were in the carpool lane on I-880. At 5:00 we finally made it through Pleasanton (on any normal day, the distance between home and Pleasanton is about 20 minutes). Turns out, someone was stabbed to death and the entire freeway was shut down for most of the day. By 7:30 we were pulling into Granite Bay. I've never been happier to see my friend Mike in all my life! (Thanks for the bone-crushing hug, buddy. I needed that.) At 8:00 we were all splashing around in the pool to save us from the blistering heat of what was to become a horribly frustrating weekend!

Saturday's Highlights = 104 degrees outside; Acrobatic Gymnastics State Championships (which means we were sitting on the bleachers for about 4 hours straight); Mike's house got ransacked by a neighbor's kid while we were gone; baby fell in the pool and was saved by my 6-year-old; bathroom flooded; baby pooped on the ground; both my boys competing for the attention of the same girl; "tall, dark, and handsome" not so suave.

Sunday turned out to be almost as disastrous. (I won't even attempt to type in the details.) I've never been so happy to be home! I walked in the house, kicked off my shoes, shut my door and took a two hour nap. I'm glad my kids are self-sufficient enough to figure out what to do when mom's out of comission.

Monday ended with a little boy falling off the monkey bars and breaking his arm. I made a make-shift splint with two wooden rulers and an ace bandage, then tied a sling around his neck before sending him to the hospital with his dad.

Tuesday I had the unpleasant task of calling Child Protective Services. There are some parts of my job I don't enjoy.

Wendesday at 5:45 am I was awakened by the loudest crash I've ever heard. We thought it was an earthquake, but after some investigation I realized my shelf in the closest had just fallen off the wall and crashed down to the floor. What a mess! Ironically enough, at school that morning we endured a district-wide disaster drill, simulating a massive earthquake. We had the task of trying to entertain hundreds of children on the blacktop with quiet activities for over an hour while certain teachers and students pretended to be seriously injured.

Thursday I was informed that one of our Kindergarteners wasn't on the yard at pick-up time and after going through all the normal procedures to find her, I realized I'd have to call 911 if I failed to get ahold of anyone. Thank goodness I found an aunt who was able to contact mom (who had picked up her child after school and forgot to tell us). :/

Friday I got a call from one of my teachers who told me her daughter had just broken her leg for the second time. Plus, the wind was blowing smoke to us from the fires in Santa Cruz and parents were worried about their kids being outside. Two more staff called in to say they weren't coming: a total of 1 teacher and 2 aides now off for the day.

Today I slept in. I cleaned up the mess in the closet and got absolutely nothing else accomplished. I'm now off to prepare my Relief Society lesson for tomorrow.

What doesn't kill me....

I lauged. I couldn't help it.

Thanks to my good friend whom I will refer to as "Weeuuu!!!" I really needed to laugh today. You rock!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE ' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive acro ss the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hard working American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine al l the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Middle Finger

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"Mom, look, you're cutting my middle finger nail."

"Yep."

"And I'm pointing with my middle finger."

"Yes, I see that."

"Mom? What does that mean when you point your middle finger at someone?"

"It's a really mean and nasty gesture. It means 'f. you'."

"Fu?"

"No honey, not 'fu'."

So I spelled the words out. And out of my little 6-year-old's mouth came the word I was trying to avoid saying.

"Yes, dear. And please don't ever say it again. It's the worst of the bad words. K?"

"K. But what does f~ mean?"

*Sigh*

"It's kind of a yucky way of saying 'sex'."

"What's sex?"

364 Kids' Days

Mother's Day 2008. I woke up to the boys quietly shutting my bedroom door, making themselves breakfast, and peeking in on me now and then to see if I was done sleeping in yet.

So I got out of bed.

"Wait Mom! Don't come out yet until we say!"

Fine. I wait. I wonder what's up their sleeves this year.

"Ok, walk out into the hall...... SURPRISE!!!!!!" They jumped out at me, arms in the air, wiggling their hands like a couple of cheerleaders. I now have my very own cheer squad. (Uh, minus a few members and a whole lot of girls... but oh well!)

All day we got to focus on mom (that's me). Actually, it started the night before with my longest-time friend who agreed to babysit so I could go to a formal dinner for PAEYC (the local chapter of the National Association for the Education of Young Children.... I'm on the board). Anyway, when I got home around 10 pm she told me the boys had just now gone to bed. I was a little surprised at the late hour, but then I looked around and realized they had cleaned the ENTIRE house for me. The sitter told them they should "do something nice for mom, because she's always doing something nice for you." And then I looked on the table. B~ walked out of the bedroom groggily and announced that the purple flowers were from him because he knows how much I love purple. The blue ones were from N~, and the pink from the sitter. They were beautiful!

At church the boys sang with the other Primary children the normal "Mother I Love You" and "Quickly I'll Obey" songs. And after the meeting the youth group passed out the traditional See's candy boxes while the bishop had all the moms, grandmas, great-grandmas, etc. stand to be recognized. I love tradition.

So here's the kicker.

After church I noticed B~ acting a bit sulky.

"What's wrong, B~? Did something happen at church today?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. I'm just not happy right now."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay. Let us know when you do."

We got in the car. He started crying.

"Honey? What's up?"

"Well, why do we have to spend ALL DAY celebrating just moms? I mean, when is it KIDS DAY?!"

Ambulances, Fire Engines, Blue Tongues, and the Beach

The first Saturday the weather changed we donned our bathing suits and headed down to Santa Cruz. We love the beach!








Annual Children's Faire at the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose


Thanks to the blue shaved ice, B~ and N~ and I stayed somewhat hydrated. Now, the sunburns... that's a different story. Just kidding. Thanks for the spray-on sun screen Ruth. You saved our skins! :)










"A shark fire engine, mom! That's just cool!"









My crazy boys and three adorable Seagraves girls. Look at the two eldest - now wouldn't they make a cute little couple some day?









B~ in the ambulance. He got to breathe in the oxygen and sit on the gurney. Some day (heaven forbid) if he ever has to take a ride in an ambulance, at least he won't be scared.

REBATE

It's coming! The Accounting Man just told me that mine is in the first group of checks. YES! Government money to "boost" the economy. It's an interesting idea, and I hope that some of those getting their checks in the mail make it worth the effort and do what it was supposed to accomplish. For me, it's money in my pocket... no wait, it's money in American Express's pocket... I already "boosted" the economy by GOING INTO DEBT! Ahh, "debt-free-land" I am on my way. Thank you, stupid government. Ya gotta love America. :)

LDS not FLDS

The other day my neighbor asked me if my church was getting a lot of flack from what's been in the news lately. I told him I hadn't had anyone treat me any differently. I feel horrible for what the women and children in Texas have been going through. I wish there was some way I could help. I am not and have never been the sort of person who thinks it is the best solution to remove children from their mothers except under extreme circumstances. I have conflicting feelings over this situation, because as far as I understand, it is mostly the men of this group who are at fault. (Disagree with me if you want to, but I stand firm in my feelings here.)

UPDATE: After some reflection (and thanks to my sister's comments) I decided to delete the main body of this post. I kept the links of the two LDS leaders' talks, though, and encourage everyone to take time to read them. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I pray for the families in Texas who have been affected by this tragedy.


This woman served as a leader in the Mormon church. She recently spoke to teenage girls worldwide. She encouraged them to stand up to peer pressure, strengthen their families and serve others. (Click here for more.)










This is one of the leaders of the Mormon church. Last Sunday he spoke about honoring women, especially mothers, and gave advice to husbands and children about how to treat the women in their lives. (For the whole story, click here.)

Meetings

Monday:
1. Meet with father of 2nd grader to discuss her failing appendix and upcoming surgery and how this will affect her (and her sister) at school these next couple of months
2. Meet with District Specialist to discuss summer curriculum
3. Drive to Sacramento to prepare for meetings Tuesday
4. Meet "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" for dinner (I liked this meeting)

Tuesday:
1. Meet with state legislators, state secretary of education, state assemblyman, and state senator to advocate for and discuss the importance of preschool
2. Meet friends for dinner
3. Drive back to Sunnyvale, meet babysitter at door w/money in hand

Wednesday:
1. Meet with school representatives to discuss board meeting on Thursday
2. Meet with assistant director to go over staff meeting agenda for next day

Thursday:
1. Director's meeting to discuss and plan summer curriculum
2. Meet with principal to discuss plans for next year and tonight's school board meeting
3. Staff meeting
4. School board meeting to present argument for continuing preschool program at current location

Friday:
1. Follow-up meeting with principal
2. Meet with preschool parent to discuss biting incident last week
3. Meet with 1st grader's parents to discuss classroom behavior
4. Meet mom for the opera (looking forward to this meeting)


Would anyone like to challenge me now that my job is "just babysitting"? I thought not.

Compulsive Beginner

I love to read. I read chapter books, story books, poem books, and scriptures to my kids before they go to bed. I read novels, self-help books, books about raising children, cookbooks, how-to books, historical fiction, books on relationships, books about quilting, books written by the General Authorities of the Church. I listen to audio books in the car almost every day. And I love to BUY new books! But here's the problem. I have a really hard time finishing them. I am currently in the middle of eleven books right now. ELEVEN. And I really do mean I'm right in the middle of them. Some of them I'm completely riveted to, some I've been browsing for a few months. It kind of depends on my mood, I guess. One day my eldest said to me, "Mom, can we finish this book before we read any more of the other one? I'm getting the stories mixed up in my head."

So I'm starting to wonder if this isn't some sort of sign about me. I'm really great at beginning things, but I have a difficult time ending them before I feel like moving on to something new.

Take household chores for example. I have no problem putting dishes in the dishwasher and turning them on. But when they're done I have a tough time getting around to actually putting them away. (That's what my 6-year-old is for, right?) Or laundry. This is embarrassing. I have been known to have piles of clean clothes on my bedroom floor all week - until the next laundry day when I just add to last week's pile. "Mom, I can't find my black shirt." "Have you checked my bedroom floor yet?" Oh they're folded or at least in organized sections, but not put away yet - I had to vacuum the floor first... and what's that toy doing all the way over here? It's supposed to be in that room over there where the computer is. Man, do these boys ever put away their computer games?!

Okay, let's talk about work. I have HOARDS of deadlines. I start working on a project with all intensions of finishing it by the end of the day, only to get to 5:00 with four more "nearly done" projects on my desk.

Music. I love listening to a new cd. But half way through I feel like listening to something else. It's not that I don't like what I'm listening to, or even that I'm bored. I just feel like doing something new. And let's not forget my piano lessons. How many pieces by Chopin and Debussy can one person work on at a time?

Food. I love eating out. But have I ever finished an entire meal at a restaurant? Ask my dates who end up paying for a whole meal that was only half eaten - only to be buying me an ice cream or hot chocolate 30 minutes later.

Maybe this is just typical procrastination. Maybe it's a sign of ADD. Maybe I've repressed something from my youth. I don't know!

Tall, Dark, and Handsome

Not sure what it is about those three words, but boy do I love them! Somehow I just keep getting luckier... I think each guy I date is more handsome than the last! And when things don't work out with the guy I'm with I just KNOW I could never find a man better looking than "he" was.

And then

-- BAM --

before I know it Tall, Dark, and Handsome walks into the room! And of course he's interested in me, because... well, who wouldn't be?!

Looking forward to Monday night!


**Bet you thought I was going to write more details, huh? Well, think again!**

Does this make sense?

Just ranting a bit right now. Needing a sound-board...

Last year my ex-husband got a sizeable raise. We made a mutual agreement that we wouldn't deal with the paperwork and headache it takes to change child support payments, and he agreed to bring extra cash with him each month for the boys when he comes to visit them. Since December, when things started getting a bit strained between us, I haven't seen anything but the normal payments. My checking account has been really suffering these last couple of months. The boys' gymnastics competition season just began and it's pretty darn expensive! And that's on top of their monthly tuition! So last weekend I get this email from him asking me to help pay for one of the boys' plane tickets to Regional Championships (he and his mom will be flying out to meet them there -- I'm not going).

Um... HUH???!! So okay, I admit I should have asked him earlier about the lack of monitary support these last FOUR months, but seriously, talking about money with this man makes my stomach ache. In fact, talking about pretty much ANYTHING lately throws me into anxiety fits. So what do I do? I take 3 days to answer his stupid request. I say, "sure, I can help pay for one of the tickets, but I will have to pay you back if that's okay. I am running low on funds lately."

Does this make ANY sense to you? Either I need to get a backbone or someone needs to run him over with a mack truck. Because honestly, I'm tired of fighting this man. Period.

A 9-Year-Old's Testimony

Six years ago this summer I became a single mom. I had so many serious doubts about my ability to accomplish this feat. How could I teach my boys all they needed to learn to grow into strong men without a dad in their home? What would I do the first time one of them approached me with a serious problem? "I don't know anything about raising boys!" I thought. And raising them alone? Well, that just scared me.

But over the years I've learned that it wasn't as frightening as I had originally thought. And often I've realized that instead of me teaching them, they are teaching me. Take Tuesday night for instance. The boys and I were eating dinner together and I turned on this last General Conference in the computer. I love General Conference, but during this last session I was on a business trip in Southern California, and I missed most of it. So I was trying to catch up a bit and we were listening to the first talk from Saturday afternoon. It was Elder Oaks' talk on Testimony. My younger son finished eating before the rest of us (a miracle in itself) so I sent him to take a shower. Not long afterward my eldest said to me, "mom, I need to talk to you about something." Of course, when your child opens a conversation with that, the first thing you do is LISTEN. So I put the talk on pause and asked, "what's up?" Here's approximately how our conversation went:

B: "Well, I've been feeling this way for a long time now."
me: "What way, hon?"
B: "Like, when we've read the scriptures or when I was watching Conference with grandma last weekend... well, I keep hearing this voice in my head say to me 'how do you know this is true?' And it doesn't feel very good."
(By this time tears were streaming down his face. I had to bite my lip not to join him. I knew he needed me to be strong and help him find the answers. But it was pretty darn hard.)
me: "Does it make you feel sad?"
B: "Yeah, because, you know, I know the church is true and everything, but I keep having those thoughts, 'Well, how do you know?'"
me: "How do we know the scriptures are true?"
B: "Um, because of the priesthood?"
me: "Well, it's even simpler than that. Here, why don't you read something for me."
(I got my Book of Mormon out for him and turned to -- guess where -- Moroni 10:3-5.)
me: "Read these three verses out loud for me. K?"
(He did. I stopped him at every important point. Read. Ponder. Pray. We talked about what all that means and then read Moroni's promise.)
me: "Do you want to try that tonight?"
(He nodded and then climbed into my lap. Okay, I let a couple tears escape.)
me: "Know what, B? You are amazing. You're only 9 years old. Wanna know how old I was when I asked these questions?"
B: "How old were you, mom?"
me: (I paused so he would look at me, and then I said) "I was 21."
(He couldn't believe it. So I asked him to remember what I did when I was 21 years old. He thought for a minute and then ventured, "you went on a mission?"
me: "Yep. And I realized that if I was going to spend 18 months preaching the gospel of Christ, I'd better know for sure if what I was teaching was true. I had always known the church was true because I was taught by good parents, just like you. But I'd never really asked to find out for myself until right before I went on a mission. And you're only NINE! You are so amazing, son. Heavenly Father is so proud of you."

My son was almost literally beaming for the rest of the evening. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face all night.

My Patriarchal Blessing tells me I'll bring some of the choice spirits to earth. Boy did that ever come true! I am so blessed to have these little boys in my life! I can't imagine my life without them.

Disneyland AGAIN??

We had so much fun at Disneyland last summer that when my best friend invited us to join her in February we packed our bags and hopped in the car without another thought! In one week we visited 3 theme parks: Disneyland, California Adventure, and Legoland; 3 museums: Old-town San Diego Police Statin, the Mormon Batallion Visitor's Center, and the USS Midway; visited my brother and his family, and saw a BYU Young Ambassadors show! It was a packed week with lots of memories and the boys are still talking about how great it was! Financially it was a bit of a set back, but I'd do it again any day! (Preferrably that day will be after we've set some money aside again!)

Old-town San Diego Police Station Museum and the Mormon Batallion Visitor's Center:

We got to sit on the police motorcycles, get inside the helicopter, and stand inside the old jail cell.

My Mormon Batallion boys all geared up and ready to roll!

Did you know this statue is about the same size as Golliath from the Old Testament was? Tall man!

Disneyland & California Adventure:

The tea cups. Notice I'm not in this picture. I can't stand being dizzy, so I opted out of this ride. The boys had a great time with our friends, though!

The boys and their big 3-D glasses. The movie pretty much stunk, but the glasses were fabulous!

Tarzan, look out! These three monkeys have got it goin'!

We rode Big Thunder Mountain how many times??

We are very grumpy! But not because we weren't having fun... not a chance!

The USS Midway Museum:

The boys and I listened to the audio tour all the way through. They couldn't wait to get to each new section. They wanted their pictures taken EVERYWHERE. I only put a few up here, but I have a whole lot more!!

Boys and their need to be naked.

(Thanks Sam for keeping your shirt on. Let's let Jenn be the only lucky one to see what's under there!)

Loved the gymnastics exhibition at the hotel! Let's do this again soon! :)

Stuff About Me

Chores I hate

• cleaning toilets, tubs, showers
• mopping
• washing dishes by hand
• folding laundry

These are necessary evils in my opinion. I'll clean the fridge, take out the trash, pay the bills, scour the fish tank, and even change a kid's blow-out diaper first before these four chores!

Quirky things I do

• sit cross-legged in the passenger seat of a car
• chew sucky candy: Jolly Ranchers, Lollipops, Tootsie Pops... I don't suck - I BITE! :)
• read 3-4 books all at the same time.
• eat Cheerios with butter and salt warmed up in the microwave or sauted in a frying pan (and I do mean BUTTER, not spread)
• say my prayers kneeling under the covers
• record my gas milage, how many galons, the date, the station, and my current location every time I fill up my car
• Tremble. Always. But especially when I'm really cold, really hungry, really tired, or talking about something that makes me emotional.
• put my scriptures, my journal, and my phone right next to my bed every night (otherwise I have a hard time sleeping)
• sleep on the right side of the bed - even though I have a queen-size all to myself right now

Pet Pieves

• long toe nails (and men & kids with long fingernails)
• shoes and/or dirty socks dropped in the hallway or on the living room floor, or in the kitchen... anywhere but in the closest
• food on the carpet
• inconsiderate drivers!
• people who lie
• potty talk and casual usage of curse words
• a person looking over my shoulder when I'm at the computer, the piano, the kitchen table... just sit NEXT to me!
• chewing with your mouth open (yuck)
• spreading your purchases out on the belt at the store so I have to wait extra long to empty my shopping cart (it's petty, I know, but it really bugs)

Things I love

• Laughter - especially my kids'
• listening to General Conference and MOTAB
• spending all day at the temple
• clean humor and wit
• watching my kids at gymnastics competitions
• a good practice session on the piano
• a long, tender and passionate kiss
• writing in my journal
• watching chick flicks in my jammies and curled up under a thick blanket with a bowl of buttered popcorn in my lap
• a long cleansing hug
• kisses on my cheeks from my boys during church
• holding hands
• watching the sun rise or set over the ocean or in the mountains
• camping
• Disneyland!
• crashing ocean waves (watching and listening)
• holding a brand new baby
• the euphoria of a new relationship
• a good laugh
• hearing the words "you're beautiful"
• Sunday afternoon naps (darn that 1-4pm church schedule!)
• watching old home movies
• the smells of Thanksgiving and Christmas
• a long late-night chat with a good friend
• getting a phone call out of the blue from a good looking man

Favorite things to eat

• fresh strawberries and blueberries with or without whipped cream
• fresh raspberries right off the vine
• tangy rhubarb pie
• fettucini alfredo
• Reese's Peanut Butter cups (the mini-sized ones)
• peanut M & M's
• fresh sourdough bread with butter
• my mom's beef stroganoff over white rice
• veggie or ham & pineapple pizza
• fried potatoes in olive oil and fresh garlic
• home cooked Indian food
• Chinese sweet and sour chicken
• hot and sour soup
• split pea soup with or without ham
• Julie's pumpkin soup
• turkey and avacado sandwiches

Hello life... are you still there?

I know, a lot of time has gone by without a word from me. It's true, I really have been stuck in my own little world for the last 3 months. But I'm back! Has anything changed?

In January I started taking a class from the community college. It was supposed to be my last class in order to receive my Director Permit from the Santa Clara Office of Education. And then I found out I was short a HALF of a credit, even with this last class. Argh. So I enrolled in a one credit course on top of the class I was already enrolled in. No, it wasn't strenuous, per se, but for Heaven's sake it's not like I had a ton of free time in the first place! My friends tell me "you're the busiest person I know. How do you find time to sleep?!" Answer: I take sleeping pills. Just kidding! I pretty much crash at the end of the day. And I have learned the art of multi-tasking.

For instance:

I can cook dinner with one hand while correcting homework with the other.

While I am brushing my teeth, I also do ballet leg lifts and plias... um, pleas... er, pleeyays... ack! Julie how the heck do you spell that word? Help! I don't write french!

I write emails at work while I'm smoothing out a situation on the phone with a nervous parent.

I make my important phone calls while taking the kids to gymnastics, picking the kids up from gymnastics, taking the kids to cub scouts, picking the kids up from daycare... (And yes, I have Bluetooth on my GPS: hands free, people!)

I listen to the RS lesson I was just asked to teach in two days (I'm the substitute teacher in my ward) on the Internet while I'm billing tuition for next week.

I fold laundry on Friday nights while the boys and I watch a movie together and load the dishwasher while we're waiting for the popcorn to pop.

I do sit-ups while reading the scriptures to the boys every night.

Oh, there's more. But this list is getting boring. Let's just say I enjoy being busy. But I am VERY glad last Tuesday was my final and I'm all done with school! Of course, now I get to look forward to my next big goal: a Masters in Human Relations. But I think I'll put that one off a while until the boys are a little older. When I got home from class Tuesday night my eldest was still awake and he asked me, "Mom, was tonight your last school night?" I confirmed it was, and he heaved a big sigh and said, "oh good!" Do my kids love me, or what?

Other updates:

I'm the boss!! Yes, I was promoted to Director of the Preschool and School-age care at Don Callejon Elementary School. We have almost 100 preschoolers and 40 K-5th graders. This week was my first official week of being in charge. It still feels like the real boss is just on vacation, though. I remember after my first son was born I kept feeling like I was just babysitting and his "real" parents would come any minute to pick him up from us. That's kind of how this feels, too.

Last Sunday I got to share my birthday with Easter. It was really interesting and very cool. It's never happened before, and probably won't ever happen again in my life-time. I loved it. I usually feel grumpy when I'm not the center of attention on my birthday, but not so much this year. Okay, I did play a solo on my flute in church, but it was for the Easter program, not the Happy Birthday Sheila program. And my boys made home-made cards for me while I was in the shower and spelled out "Happy Birthday Mom Love Benjamin and Nathan" on our scrabble board and left it on my bed so I would find it after I got dressed. And my sister (who shares her 1/2 birthday with my whole birthday) sent me a text message with birthday wishes (as did my cousin, my elder brother, and two friends), and my family gathered after church for a combined bday/Easter dinner and we put candles in a pan of brownies. So yes, many people gave me birthday wishes, but you know what? I think I would have been happy even if they hadn't. Saturday night I sat on my recliner and watched a movie all by myself and the thought occurred to me: "I'm doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing right now!" I'm usually wishing someone would secretly throw me a party, or take me out on a date, or stop by unexpectedly with flowers and balloons, but not this year. And I don't remember when I've been happier just being all by myself thinking, "tomorrow I'm another year older. Yippee!"

And last but not least, I finally met "mystery guy" my long-time friend has been trying to set me up with since before Christmas. Okay, I've dated a lot of really handsome men. But when this guy walked into the room it took all I had in me not to stare at him! In fact, I may have been trying so hard NOT to look that I think I gave him the wrong impression! At the end of the evening he gave me a hug (dang he smelled great) and said it was good to finally meet me. Our mutual friend confided in me that he had no clue what his friend was thinking. "Sheila, I couldn't read him at all tonight! I have no idea what he thinks of you, and I can't even tell you how much that annoys me!" Poor guy tried for so long to get us together, and by the end of the night he couldn't tell if it was even worth it or not! He complained that he thought his friend would have at least asked for my phone number. I confessed I wouldn't have given it to him even if he had. "WHAT? Why not? Didn't you like him?" Oh heck yes! But I think if a guy wants to call me, he'll figure out a way to get a hold of me. And what could be easier than asking his best friend for my phone number? And guess what? Two weeks later I got a phone call. And then another... and another. He figured it out, just like I said he would. Games? No. Smart? Yes! I'm not difficult, but I do think it's important to let the guy work a bit... at least in the beginning. Otherwise, where's the chase? When a woman makes herself too available the man loses interest too fast. If she makes herself completely unavailable, he stops trying. Balance. I think I've finally learned it. Has he asked me out yet? Nope. But I'm not going to help him out, either. If he wants to see me, he'll figure out what to do. For now, I'm enjoying our conversations... and just thinking about how great looking he is sends adrenalin shooting to my fingertips! Been a while since I've felt that. And I like it.