Why can't I swear??!!!

Today I came home to a newly paved driveway. I live in a mobile home park. The owner sent out a letter about a month ago letting us know the schedule for the driveway repavement project. My street's day was today. So last night I moved the garbage cans, the recycling bins, and the foot mat off the driveway in preparation. I got home from work and thought how beautiful it looked to have a new and very black driveway. There was a wooden "horse" in front of the driveway indicating that I couldn't park there, so I drove around the block to park in visitor parking. Nothing was available. I wouldn't have minded going to another visitor parking, and thought that walking a few blocks would do me good. But I'm getting ready to take a weekend trip with some friends, and the thought of lugging my suitcase, food, sleeping bag, etc. for who knows how many blocks to my car wasn't looking like a great idea to me. So I punched on the hazzard lights and parked in front of the house.

I walked up to the door and noticed it was part way open. Grumble. My ex-husband had already stopped by to pick up the boys' clothes for the weekend and didn't close the door all the way. Typical. I couldn't expect anything else from this man. Grumble again. I walked inside and did a quick assessment. Good. No signs of "unwanted visitors". My laptop was still sitting on the counter where I left it and nothing seemed to be out of place.

While I was finishing the last of the laundry and gathering stuff for the weekend, I hear a familiar honking outside. My car has a theft feature on it (THANK GOODNESS) and will give four fast short honks if the car hasn't been broken into but is being violated in some way. I recognized it right away and sprinted out the door. Sure enough, the tow truck was taking my car! I waved my arms and yelled "STOP!" He saw me in his rear-view mirror. I ran to the passenger side of the truck and tried to open the door. Locked. I looked at him. He looked back. I couldn't believe the stupidity of this man! I indicated he should roll down the window. He did. A crack. I stepped up onto the truck to talk to him through the window. Here's our conversation:

Me: "Hey, I'm right here. I had to park out front because the driveway was just redone."
Him: "Well, you should have parked in visitor parking."
Me: "I tried. There weren't any spaces left."
Him: "Sorry, I was told to tow anyone parked on the street."
Me: "But I'm trying to leave for the weekend and I'm packing my car. I can't lug my suitcase 3 or 4 blocks just because my driveway is unavailable."
Him: "Sorry. There's nothing I can do."
Me: "Yes there is! I'm right here! You can unhook my car and leave it here!"
Him: "That will cost you $82."
Me: "Are you kidding me?! I'M RIGHT HERE!"
Him: "If you hadn't caught me inside the park, it would cost $120, ma'am."
Me: "Fine. You take checks?"
Him: "Just cash. Or credit card."
Me: "I'll go get my card. Don't take my car. I'll be right back."

So I ran back inside to grab my Visa. He wouldn't unhook my car until the transaction was complete. I asked him why he couldn't just give us a break on this street, since we couldn't use our driveways. He just said that "the owner" told him to tow any car that wasn't in visitor parking during the driveway repavement. Jerk. After he unhooked my car, he left it right there IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I still had to go back inside my house to get my keys. I looked down the street at the woman who was parked there talking to a neighbor. I had heard the tow truck guy look at her, too, and mutter to himself, "now I gotta go get that one." So I cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted, "MOVE YOUR CAR! HE'S COMING TO GET YOU NEXT!" She yelled back "thank you" and ran to the driver's side. I think she got it moved before he could get around the block to her. Jerk. GREAT BIG JERK!

And now there's $82 less in my bank account. ARGH! WHY CAN'T I SWEAR??!!!!

Instead, I decided to yank the wooden horse up and throw it down the street. I parked in my driveway. So there.