Day One

I read the scriptures last night. It was only half a chapter, but my eyes kept closing on me. It's my own fault, too.

After I finished writing my blog yesterday I checked the clock and then looked at the temple schedule. I had missed the last session. Argh! I was so disappointed in myself that I started to cry.

So I went grocery shopping. And then I stopped at Target and bought three of my newest favorite movies. I watched "P.S. I Love You" when I got home. (I swear that movie makes me want to fall in love with an Irish man. I even did a search for guys in Ireland on ldslinkup before I went to bed. Dumb. I'll never do that again.)

During the movie I got down on the floor and did a straddle stretch. Ouch. I'm much more stiff than I ever remember being. So I spent almost half the movie doing different stretches before some leg lifts and a few sit ups. I felt better afterward. I'm starting small. Very small. But I think it won't take long before I get back to where I was. I really want to be in shape again. Really.

Tonight I did something social. It was just a potluck at the singles ward and then a fireside (which was absolutely amazing!) but it was something. I even got brave at the fireside and sat next to someone I met at a party on the 4th of July this year. He didn't remember me at first. We talked for a couple minutes then he excused himself to take a phone call. When he came back he said he was going to sit with a few friends he saw in the back, but not to take it personally. I didn't. Well, maybe just a little. I sat by myself for a while and then my girlfriend came in and sat next to me. When did I become so self-conscious about being alone at a social function?? And what am I doing looking for "him" still? It's so pointless these days.

But I'm getting off the subject.

Okay, so far I'm doing well on my goals. Tomorrow I will take a lunch break and a walk. By the way, I'm changing my scripture reading goal to 14 days to be consistent with my other two goals. One down, 13 to go. :)

On a side note (again)... I'm glad I went to church today. I hate walking into the chapel without my children. (They're at their dad's this weekend.) It feels lonely and odd and I almost wanted to just sit in the foyer and listen to the talks from afar. But I didn't. And I'm glad. I was still a little mad at myself for missing the temple yesterday, so when I walked into Sacrament Meeting I was surprised at how peaceful I felt. I said a prayer of thanks to Heavenly Father for the gift. I felt I needed His forgiveness and His loving response made me feel like closing my eyes and breathing in the tranquility. I love this gospel. It's such a blessing to know that my Father is aware of me and that He loves me dispite my gross short-comings.

See you tomorrow.